Survivors of sexual violence are told they should be over it by now. There was no physical damage done to you so why are you letting this get in your way, why are you letting this stop you from achieving your dreams. Why are you holding onto this, Forgive him/her move on. As a society we seem unable to understand, empathize, sympathize with those who are violated but have no visible scars to show. We place less emphasis on the invisible scars. We ignore and ridicule those who suffer when they appear to be “HEALTHY”, “NORMAL”. Who decides what’s normal/healthy, who decides who is allowed to feel pain and what constitutes a long enough period to go through the healing journey? See as survivors, too often we let people who have no knowledge of what we go through dictate how we should act and how long we are allowed to act that way. We let people dictate when we should heal, how long we should take to heal and who we must forgive. Part of the healing journey, part of beginning to take control of your life is deciding what is best for you.